September 10, 2010
My husband J (yes, J...his name is Jeremy but that is for a later post) and I have been married almost two months now. So far marriage has been great! No complaints! Don't get me wrong, we've had our ups and downs, but nothing yet that has sent me calling home asking Mom why she let me get married.
Being newlyweds, we have had to learn each other's schedules, quirks, habits, and so many other things we did not know about while dating. I did know while dating that my husband loves food. Period. He has to eat about every two hours in order to function properly. Well sometime last week, my husband and I were at my mother-in-law's house and somehow the topic of cereal came up. J mentioned that his favorite cereal as a kid was Cocoa Puffs and still is his favorite guilty pleasure cereal to this day. So I learned something new. Next day we go over to my mother-in-law's house again and there on the table is a box of Cocoa Puffs that she had bought for my husband. He's an only child...no further comment necessary.
Well, last week my husband came home from work, a new job I might add, and told me that he was going to have to go for a health screening of some sort. He continued to tell me that he would have to fast in order to complete the screening and get blood drawn. Ok, let me now add that my husband works third shift. The health screening was to be held at noon...during the day...the day he would be coming home after an eight hour shift. So in order to fulfill the requirements for this health screening, he would have to start fasting at midnight, work all night long without eating, come home, sleep a couple hours, get up, and go get his blood drawn. That's over twelve hours without eating anything! Let me repeat what I mentioned earlier...my husband cannot go more than two hours normally without eating or drinking!
Well last night was the night. He came home for his lunch break around two in the morning and did not eat a thing. Then he came home after his shift the next morning and did not eat a thing and went to sleep. I woke up around 11:30 in the morning (I try to stick to his schedule, for those of you who are wondering what in the world you are doing wrong that you cannot sleep in that late) so it was breakfast time for me. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. Meanwhile, J woke up and was getting ready to leave for the screening at work. I poured in my almond milk (yes, I'm lactose intolerant) and went back to the bedroom to eat. I figured I was being thoughtful by sitting in the back bedroom and eating instead of eating in the wide open kitchen for my hunger-stricken husband to see. Well, it didn't really work. He saw me. Eating his Cocoa Puffs. There I was, mid bite, about to inhale a spoonful of those scrumptious little chocolate balls...his favorite cereal. Not good.
J stared at me. I stared back. I then received a lecture on how I should have waited five more minutes until he left the house, I gave excuses, and so on and so forth. I smiled sheepishly, kissed him goodbye, and finished my bowl of Cocoa Puffs.
You think I would have learned my lesson, right? Wrong. J came back about an hour later with McDonald's in hand and a lot of it! He sat down next to me. The french fries smelled really good...so I tried taking a fry. Yea...not such a good idea.
So a very valuable lesson was learned today. Never eat Cocoa Puffs in front of a man who hasn't eaten for twelve hours. So you ask, "Well what do I do then if I'm hungry and my husband can't eat?" Easy! The answer is what I should have done! Lock yourself in the bedroom and eat the Cocoa Puffs!