October 8, 2010

October Memories

       Autumn is here, my favorite season of the year. Leaves are changing into beautiful colors, apple cider in the stores, the smell of pumpkin bread baking, and festivities galore! This weekend was to be the original weekend I was getting married (until I realized this whole long distance thing was getting annoying and the wedding got moved up by three months!) This Saturday, October 9th, is also the two year anniversary since my Grandmother passed away. If you did not have the privilege of knowing her, I have to say you missed out on meeting one amazing woman. She was a very godly woman who only wanted the best for her family, but most of all, she was a woman who only wanted her future generations to be people who would follow God.

       Two years ago I not only lost a grandmother, but a very dear friend. I miss her dearly and cannot wait to see her in Heaven someday. The following is the eulogy I wrote for her funeral.

       " 'A grandmother never stops giving - You always see joy in her smile, You hear wisdom she's gained through the years when you sit down and talk for awhile. Her eyes shine with warm understanding. You feel gentle strength in her touch - A grandmother never stops giving the love that you cherish so much.'
          Those were the words Mom-mom would have been receiving in her birthday card today. Giving. Giving is the word I think of when I think of Mom-mom. She gave of her time, wisdom, love, hugs, and her faith. She loved to give. Even at Christmas time, she would always rather give than receive (unless it was a new puzzle for her and Pop-pop to work on!)

           Yet even in Mom-mom's last few moments here on earth, she was able to give me something so precious. As I sat miles away at school in South Carolina, without even realizing it, she was able to show me just how real our God is. Let me tell you how she did this.

            Ever since I was a little girl, I prayed over and over again that God would allow Mom-mom to see my wedding day. I wanted her to be able to see her last grandchild get married. Even up until last week, I prayed that prayer. When my brother called me last Wednesday, I refused to believe that God could be taking her soon. God healed her before; I thought He would do it again. That Wednesday night, my mom called me from the hospital and told me they did not know how Mom-mom was still hanging on. She then told me the rest of the family had said their good-byes and asked me if I wanted to say goodbye to her on the phone. I did not want to because I refused to admit that this was all really happening. But after I got off the phone, I began to think about it. I got out Mom-mom's birthday card I was going to send the next day and wrote out a note to her, thanking her for being such a godly influence. That night I lay in my bed crying, still not wanting God to take her. Then at midnight my friend sent me a text message on my phone to tell me he was praying for Mom-mom. He went on to send some more texts saying, "Carrie, God is good, and He has you here for a reason. He wants us to find joy in our trials. Now is your chance to put feet to that truth. I can't understand how you feel but God does. He has given you more time with her. He brought her through safely a couple years ago. Now He is going to bring her safely home, and you will be there eventually too to spend eternity together with Christ...stay strong...just hold His hand." As soon as I received that last text, I started praying and crying to God. I told Him that if it was His plan to take Mom-mom, I would be ok with that.  I thanked God for her, and then I told Him to tell her that it was all right for her to let go. Just let her know that I love her and I will miss her.

       God showed Himself so real to me that night. And I will never forget this story. God knew the time He was taking her. God knew my friend was going to send me that text. I have such a peace about God's plan now. And how is that? Well, the time my friend sent his last text message was 12:19 a.m. Mom-mom passed away at 12:20 while I was praying that prayer. God is real. Mom-mom knew that with her whole heart. And if she could give you one last thing, I think it would be her faith. A faith in Jesus Christ so that one day we may all spend eternity together with her and her Savior in Heaven. And the best thing about this story is the fact that Mom-mom will see my greatest wedding day ever. The day we as Christians celebrate the marriage Feast as the bride of Christ."
Mom-Mom...you are dearly missed.